Anyone who has done any amount of walking in the hills will be aware that many footprints leave a mark on the landscape.
The least trod paths are denoted by shorter grass. Those used a little more have grass worn away into bare soil. More use starts to wear away the soil and form ruts, and this is where real erosion starts. Water seeping down the mountainside finds its way into the ruts and runs more easily downhill, eroding the remaining soil. Stones are exposed and come away, leaving a great gash in the mountainside which becomes an impromptu stream and needs repairing before irreparable damage is done to the landscape.
Mission workers may be less aware of how words can cut channels into their souls in a similar way. Each negative comment can leave a footprint behind. Repeated often enough they can become a rut which begins to shape our thinking. Innocent words will run into that rut causing even more damage.
So a child who hears “You’re stupid” will be hurt. If it’s said often enough she will get used to hearing it, and start to believe it. Continue hearing it and even a casual comment like “We don’t do things like that around here” will be heard as “You’re stupid”. The child will either become completely crushed, expecting people to realise she’s stupid, or she’ll fight back, and try and prove them wrong. Both responses are unhelpful to her ongoing psychological health and the relationships she forms.
In the transactional analysis method of psychotherapy, expressions such as “You’re stupid” are known as scripts. Like scripts for a play, they are written for us by an author, usually an authority figure like a parent, pastor or teacher. We then repeat them in an inner monologue, reinforced by others repeating them, until we play the part that someone else has written for us.
Syzygy meets lots of mission workers who are acting out scripts. Expressions like “You’ll never achieve anything”, “You should hurry up” and “You should work hard” have left a deep imprint in their soul. Many of them have burned themselves out in the mission field trying either to live us to the scriptwriter’s expectations, or to prove the scriptwriter wrong. Perhaps you’re one of them.
Recognising a script is half the battle to releasing yourself from it. Realising that you don’t have to repeat it is the other half. Just reading this blog has probably made you aware of the existence of a script in your life. It may take some time to get the second half right, but at least you are now free to exercise some choice in whether you believe the script or not. Now you can decide not to believe it, not to follow its instructions.
“It was for freedom Christ has set us free” wrote Paul to the Galatians (5:1). Why wait to live in the fullness of freedom? Free your mind now from the harmful effects of the negative words spoken to you!
