Posted on July 20th, 2015 by Tim

School reunion

Chefoo 1970A few weeks ago I had the privilege of being at a school reunion.  Not a regular one, but one with a difference – some of the people hadn’t even been to the same campus.  They were alumni of the old CIM/OMF Chefoo schools in Malaysia and Japan, and some of them had stayed at boarding houses in the UK during school holidays from their boarding schools in the UK.

It was interesting to observe their interactions as some of them had never met before but clearly shared a sense of camaraderie.  Some were old friends who hadn’t seen each other in decades, and all were thrilled to be reunited with former dorm parents and even an ex-head teacher.

Further investigation revealed that they all felt happy/fulfilled/privileged to have been part of a boarding school education while their parents were overseas mission workers.  Yes, they admitted that being parted from their families wasn’t great, and the times they didn’t get letters in the post were particularly hard to deal with, but they clearly felt they hadn’t been handicapped or disadvantaged by their school arrangements.  Granted, this was a self-selecting group in that any adult TCKs who had anger, resentment or loss of faith as a result of being at a boarding school would have chosen not to be there, but it was encouraging to hear so much positive feedback.

2015-07-04 15.46.21A generation on and despite the advances in local education and homeschooling options, many parents still send their kids to boarding schools.  For many it’s a great experience, although aspects of it can be hard for them.  But it’s interesting how many people say “I would never send my kids to boarding school” while they’re preparing for the mission field, but then later do so, recognising that it may be the best educational option in some places.

So what does Syzygy recommend?  Well, whatever works best for the child’s overall development (which includes spirituality, socialisation, and mentoring as well as ‘just’ education).  We recommend careful prayer, and discussion with the child as to what works best for them.  And here are some options:

Local schools – mission workers often overlook the fact that local schools may have very high standards.  The advantage is that the child will gain language fluency and local culture quickly, but may not get an internationally recognised certificate at the end of it.

International schools – there are good international schools in most major cities these days, usually teaching in English.  They may be run by Christians and usually teach to an internationally recognised standard like GCSE or IB.  They may have high fees, but are often willing to negotiate so don’t assume you can’t afford them.

Faith boarding schools – there are a number of these around the world serving the faith community and while the principal drawback is that your kids are away for the whole term, they can get a good education in English, in a faith-based context.

UK schools – if your child is going to be away during the term, you may wish to consider leaving them in the UK where they can get free education.  The challenge is to find an uncle, aunt or grandparent willing to foster them!

UK boarding schools – although you may think that’s an expensive option, there are many schools which will give generous bursaries for mission kids, so you may end up paying less in fees than you would at an international school

Homeschooling – this has the option of keeping your kids at home, which is also its disadvantage.  One parent must stay home full time to teach and supervise, and being a teacher may change the nature of the relationship with the child.  There are a number of good programmes you can use which include online curricula.

For a fuller discussion of the options, and lists of various school and other education providers, we recommend you take a look at Oscar’s helpful page.

Posted on June 18th, 2012 by Tim

School for TCKs

This month our resident adult TCK Gill Gouthwaite reflects on her experience of being educated abroad.

So how did I become so fabulously educated, growing up in the wilderness of a third world country?  All of us went to Brazilian primary school, and for secondary transferred to an International British School.  That meant going where the British school was, in second-biggest metropolis in the world.

Going to a British school overseas was glorious.  It was the poshest school in town, and we studied in company with the state President’s grandchildren.  I remember one boy announcing to me that his grandmother had funded one of the largest bridges in town (I’m still not entirely sure what he wanted me to do with that information. Ask her for money?).  Another had received kidnapping threats, so he had two bodyguards whenever we went on field trips.  Of course it did mean we got dead good birthday presents from our school friends, but then we had to wear a bizarre uniform: pinafores and blazers are weird in a country where jeans and a t-shirt are the standard school uniform.

It also meant we lived away from home in a special house, called the hostel (nicknamed the mental hospital).  We were looked after by the lucky missionary couple who pulled the short straw to look after that madhouse.  It was unique.  Having people who aren’t your parents making decisions about your life is surprisingly stressful on a kid.  I dreaded spending time with them so much that I would rather go to school if I had the flu (through no fault of that unfortunate longsuffering couple’s, may I add).

In Brazil there were always bars on the windows, which to me meant we were trying to keep someone out.  Whoever that someone was, they presumably wanted to attack me (hence the bars); it happened on the news all the time.  So I kept the door to my room open so I could run out into the (in my head) safer communal areas of the house in case that happened.  The only problem with my cunning plan was that Auntie Betty* (our housemother) used to vacuum every morning, including on Saturdays.  Today I can applaud her cleanliness, but at the time I cursed it (not with actual curse words, I was a missionary kid after all; but I think she got the gist…).

The day that I asked (I say I asked, but it might possibly have come across as a criticism) why she was ironing my nightgown, we finally had our bust-up.  I got told off for being rude to her, and from then on I decided to keep my opinions and my feelings to myself.  For years after that crying was hard for me – it was just a sign of weakness.

So the salient feature for school for me wasn’t actually school, which was excellent by any standards, but the separation it entailed, and the differentness that it gave us.  Like so much in life, it wasn’t the experience itself that mattered so much as the people I met, and their reactions to me.

*name changed

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Editorial comment

Education for their children is one of the biggest concerns of most mission workers who have young children.  The trauma of long-term separation, the risk of compromising a child’s future by not giving them the best educational opportunities, and the sheer cost of some of the alternatives weigh heavily on many people’s hearts.  However many TCKs grow up to be well-rounded, sociable people who look back on their school experience as a time of building lasting relationships with people from all around the world.

Options for educating TCKs include homeschooling, using the local education system (and quite frankly many people’s concerns that the schools in the countries they’re serving in don’t reach the standards of their sending country are frequently unfounded), leaving children ‘at home’ with friends or relatives, sending children to international schools in a major city or sending them away to boarding schools (Christian or otherwise).

There are no easy answers as the ideal situation will depend on each family, and the options available to them.  However we recommend that you read the excellent articles published on the website of our good friends at Oscar.