Walking in God’s footsteps?
Last week’s prayer from Thomas Merton seems to have resonated with a number of our readers, so I thought I would follow up with an exploration of the confusion and doubt that sometimes runs beneath the surface of our otherwise confident exteriors.
Many mission workers exhibit an unwavering confidence in their sense of calling, and are utterly convinced that they are doing what God wants them to, and are where God wants them to be. We rejoice in their faith! They are people sought out by churches and agencies for their sense of calling.
But they also intimidate many of the rest of us who lack such confidence, who are prone to self-doubt and wonder if we are really supposed to be spending our lives doing what we currently do. For many of us, life is less of a confident march of triumph into the Promised Land, and more a meandering wandering in the wilderness in the hope that somehow we’ll stumble on an oasis. I suspect that there are many more of us in the latter group than in the former.
My own journey has reflected this division. Apart from one or two occasions when I have felt very clearly guided, most of my ‘choices’ have been based on opportunities that have cropped up, to which I have responded by thinking “I’ll give this a go. Maybe God will be in it.” And invariably, God has been in it.
As Thomas Merton observes, it’s more the desire to please God than the actual doing of God’s will that is critical. Despite Merton’s uncertainty he continues to walk on, trusting in a God he can’t see. Echoing the words of the 23rd Psalm, he places his trust in a shepherd who knows what he is doing even though the sheep doesn’t.
For many of us, we don’t hear a voice saying “Go this way” very often, if at all. It often comes afterwards, confirming for us that by godly instinct or divine happenstance we have stumbled on the right path. As Isaiah said: ‘Your ears will hear a word behind you saying “This is the way, walk in it” whenever you turn to the right or to the left’ (Isaiah 30:21). Sometimes it’s not even a word, just a retrospective recognition that God has been with us and things do seem to have worked out according to his plan. Or as a friend of mine recently put it:
Just because I don’t know what God’s plan is, doesn’t mean he hasn’t got one.
